Take a moment and fill in the blank above. Fill it in with whatever comes to mind.
Karl Pillemer from Cornell University started Cornell Legacy Project, which has interviewed over 2,000 older Americans. He writes extensively about all the great and practical wisdom these elders have. In his book Happiness Is a Choice you Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old, he talks about what he sees as the key differentiator in what makes people happy. It is basically how they finish that sentence above.
People who are generally unhappy say to themselves, "I'll be happy when ..." as in:
"I'll be happy when I find the right job."
"I'll be happy when my bank account is full."
"I'll be happy when I can change my Facebook status from "it's complicated."
"I'll be happy when I'm feeling better."
"I'll be happy when I'm looking better."
"I'll be happy when I finish studying everything about how to be happy."
"I'll be happy when I'm enlightened."
People who are generally happy say to themselves, "I'll be happy in spite of ..." as in:
"I'll be happy in spite of being unemployed."
"I'll be happy in spite of having debt."
"I'll be happy in spite of this illness."
"I'll be happy in spite of my looks, my weight, my badly cut hair."
"I'll be happy in spite of not being enlightened."
For me, another fill-in-the-blank was more like, "I'll be happy," or "I'll be happy, now."
Where do you fit into these categories? The good news is that there are meditations in the book Freedom in Relationships, that will help you discover what really makes you happy. But ..... please don't wait to order that book to be happy, decide to be happy "in spite of" not having the book yet.
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