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I wanted to share a story today that a friend just told me. She and her husband were at a spiritual retreat recently in a beach resort in Mexico. Her experience there was amazing as she went into states of awareness and connection that many of us don’t get to experience often. But the part that stood out was how she came to recognize her inner state based on her reaction to the cockroaches in the bathroom.

On the days she was in a beautiful state, they didn’t bother her, they were more like just an integral part of having a room on the beach. She actually felt friendly towards them.

On the days she was in an agitated and suffering state, she disliked them, the hotel for having them, and everything else about the trip. Noticing this gave her insight into how her inner state impacted her experience of the outer world.

Focused as I am on relationships, my thoughts immediately went to how often this shows up with our partners, our family, our friends. We think our inner state is the result of our experience of an outer situation, when in fact, it is the opposite!

Think back to the last time you were a bit annoyed with someone close for something they did or didn’t do. If you were in an internal state of peace or joy or bliss or love, how would you have responded differently to them in terms of your actions, your words, or your thoughts? You just might be surprised.


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