AWAKENING

I was so blessed to recently spend four days at a retreat called Field of Awakening, with Preethaji in Sun Valley. It was truly amazing!

I want to share the biggest thing that impacted me. There is a process that she does that has you look at hurts from your childhood that you are still holding. I’ve done this process several times and always needed tissues for my tears as I worked through these long held painful moments.

So, before we started, I grabbed a handful of tissues.

As we went through the process, I found so many incidents had dissolved into mere wisps of memories that I no longer held onto so tightly. Instead, I saw so many beautiful memories with my mother. Which you would think would be a “good” thing, right?

The experience I had was this … I was holding on to those memories as tightly as painful memories. Using the same type of grasping energy!!! And I saw that it was keeping me from seeing my mother in the present as the beautiful woman she is now. And it kept me from connecting with her as closely because I was using a filter of the past. It was quite an experience to “let go” of that filter.

People used to ask … “If your house were burning down, after saving your family and pets, what would be the one thing you would rescue?” People would often say their photo albums. Nowadays, our photos are in the cloud. But I could feel the fear of letting go of memories. I cried as much letting go of my attachment to the “good” as I did to the “bad” memories. But it restored my presence with her, which is worth everything.

It isn’t as though I can’t recall those wonderful times, but I don’t have them as filters anymore, which leads to more connection and more love.