I have been so fortunate to have to able to spend 2018 in Alison Armstrong's PAX Mastery Certification program. I first learned of Alison in 2014, reading her book, The Queen's Code, then spent the next four years on a journey learning about relationships that took me all over the US and to India.
This culminated in 2018 with the both the completion of my PAX Mastery Program and getting engaged to an amazing man, who treats me like a Queen.
A Path to Joy-filled Relationships
Decide and commit to changing your life. Not "it would "be nice" if things changed. Or "they need to change". But YOU need to irrevocably decide. Now, a lot of people wait till they hit bottom. And great stories are made from this, but you can decide now that things are NOT going to keep going in the same direction as the have been and you are committed to choosing a new path, even if you don't know the way yet.
One thing that limits us, is not knowing there are other possiblities. Our family and friends and the media we choose are probably showing a limited number of possibilities. It wasn't until I met a woman who had the type of relationship I wanted that I could even see what was possible. LOOK - look outside your current world for the possibilities, they are there. There are people with joy filled relationships, learn from them.
Understand what makes us a humans tick, what fuels real-life awesome relationships, and what are the blind-spots we have that interfere with us having the joy-filled relationships we want.
In today's world we have access to so many mentors and teachers. I spent five years, reading a book a week, watching endless hours of video and traveling all over the world to gain understanding. Without understanding it can feel like you are running into invisible walls. You feel the pain and see the bruises, but you still can't see the wall.
Complete the Vision
So many times when we visualize the perfect relationship or job or life we look at the activities we do, or the things we will have, or the way others will respond to us. A complete vision includes how you will BE, what state you are in as you speak and act. Will you be in a Beautiful State of joy, compassion, love or gratitude or a Suffering State - waiting for someone else to provide you that joy and love? And most importantly, what are you bringing, to the world. This is something that will move you forward though all the challenges that life brings.
Have Mindful Standards & Expectations
There is some debate about these two words, but there is nothing wrong with having standards or expectations. It is the hidden standards & unexamined expectations that trip us up when it comes to relationships.
Standards are important in so many areas of life, especially in dealing with the physical world. In manufacturing, having a component even 1/100 of a MM of can cause disaster. But people are not machines, they have life and choice in them. And even in manufacturing, well good manufacturing, there is a lot of thought and design that goes into each standard.
A good place to look for these hidden standards is where you think or say the word "should." For example, "He should have called if he was going to be late." The problem with hidden standards is that they are hidden, some are hidden from our childhood, and believe it or not, some are even hidden in our DNA!
It is usual to think, "well, once I have a perfect relationship", I'll open myself up. It works the other way, you need to connect to put yourself out there first ... before you can have a great relationship. It sounds backwards, but then so does most of the things I've learned to be true over the last several years. This is one of the most difficult things and all the above helps, plus practices to open your heart and let other people in.
What are the next steps? Schedule a 90-minute call (at no charge) to learn more or download the ebook. Or do both!!